


and in my dreams, i dream of you

by showhyuks



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Forgetfulness, M/M, i love you all so much, i should have never written this, pure angst, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showhyuks/pseuds/showhyuks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Little did the both of them know that the chapter before was one of the last ones.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	and in my dreams, i dream of you

**Author's Note:**

> **Unbeta-ed.**  
>  Beware for switching of tenses because that's how rusty I am nowadays. Forgive me for this sad fic I'm leaving behind, but I love you all to bits!

When Minhyuk gets a call from Hyunwoo for the second time that month, asking where the cereal cabinet was, he shrugged his shoulders with no worry, thinking that Hyunwoo's just plain tired from working ten hours a day, six days a week. He answers him in both occasions with a loud giggle and a short "It's up in the second compartment from the left of the refrigerator, babe", ending the call with a smile on his face as he imagines the scrunch on Hyunwoo's face while looking around the kitchen. Hyunwoo can be forgetful sometimes, especially during the months when his workload was as colossal as the number of commissions Minhyuk gets as a famous freelance artist, and so he understands.

 

 

Minhyuk understands.

 

 

It's two months later that Minhyuk raises an eyebrow to himself when Hyunwoo texts him a brief _Honey, I think I'm lost_ , not expecting the sudden message because all he knows is that Hyunwoo went out to buy groceries because it's his turn that week. He replies to his boyfriend right away, asking him where he is, and Minhyuk quickly gets his coat and keys from the kitchen counter to fetch Hyunwoo to the details he texted, wondering how the hell could someone like Hyunwoo, who's grown up in the city since he was a child, get lost all of a sudden with no means of getting back to their small apartment by himself.

 

 

He thinks it's just a prank and he convinced himself Hyunwoo's just testing him, but when he arrives at the place and Hyunwoo is idly sitting on the bench inside the small city park beside the supermarket, Minhyuk frowns.

 

 

"Honey? Is everything okay?"

 

 

Hyunwoo shoots him a smile before standing up to hug him tightly, as if he's been waiting for Minhyuk for such a long time. "I missed you."

 

 

Minhyuk subtly inhales Hyunwoo's scent when he buries his nose on the crook of his boyfriend's neck, grabbing the hem of Hyunwoo's shirt closer to his body. "Missed you too, Hyunwoo. I guess."

 

 

Minhyuk is now weirded out about everything because Hyunwoo literally just went out for an hour and yet he's clinging onto Minhyuk like they've been separated for months, but again, he tries to understand. 

 

 

 

As months pass by, as the spring breeze slowly turn into cold, winter snowflakes, Hyunwoo holds Minhyuk close under the pile of blankets they've created as some sort of fort, like what they used to do when they were still young.

 

 

Hyunwoo heaves a sigh. "Sometimes, I forget things. Sometimes, I forget that I forget things. I think I need to see a doctor soon."

 

 

"Yeah," Minhyuk remembers the event that happened the week before, when Hyunwoo asks him who their visitor was when it was in fact Hyunwoo's old professor back in high school. That night, Minhyuk glares at him, asking why he doesn't remember his favorite professor back in the day, but Hyunwoo crosses his arms and answers him with a huff. _"I remember Mr. Lee. What are you talking about?"_ Minhyuk is now worried that Hyunwoo's workload is taking its toll on his boyfriend again so he kisses him on the cheek to try and relieve the tension he's feeling. "I'll go with you next month, after the holidays. You want that?"

 

 

"Yeah, I'd like that, Min." Hyunwoo answers before kissing Minhyuk deeply and again, Minhyuk understands.

 

 

The day before New Years' Eve became a huge obstacle to the both of them, when Hyunwoo throws a fit in the middle of the small party he and Minhyuk organized so their small group of friends from college can get together again. He almost punches his bestfriend, Hoseok, after making a sexual joke towards Minhyuk. Minhyuk takes the joke lightly but Hyunwoo clenches his fist right away, aiming it towards Hoseok who luckily evaded it as he hides behind Hyungwon, his boyfriend. Jooheon and Changkyun, the youngest among them, quickly restrains Hyunwoo by grabbing onto his arms and Kihyun goes to Hoseok's side to make sure he wouldn't do anything to upset Hyunwoo even more. Hyunwoo excuses himself from the living room and Minhyuk asks them to quietly leave while muttering apologies and _I'll call you guys again next time, I'm sorry for what happened_.

 

 

 

"What was that, Son Hyunwoo? What the fuck was that?" Minhyuk stands in front of Hyunwoo, who was sitting on the edge of their shared bed, looking lost. 

 

 

"What?"

 

 

"Why did you do that to your bestfriend? You almost punched him, Hyunwoo!" Minhyuk stops himself from saying any more words that might hurt Hyunwoo, but the older boy just blankly stares at him as if he's awaken from his daze.

 

 

"I... I don't remember that happening. I almost punched Hoseok?"

 

 

Minhyuk kneels in between Hyunwoo's legs, taking his face between his hands and kissing him on the lips. He doesn't know what's wrong, but he might be just a bit too late in figuring it out.

 

 

Hyunwoo takes Minhyuk's hand and kisses his knuckles like he always does after their petty fights to assure that they're going to be okay, and Minhyuk smiles under the roofed veranda as they watch the fireworks outside their apartment balcony the night after the whole mess that had happened, trying to leave the bad memory behind as another chapter in their life starts from that moment forward. 

 

 

(Little did the both of them know that the chapter before was one of the last ones.)

 

 

A month and a half later, Minhyuk wakes up to Hyunwoo banging his head against the wall behind their bed, gripping huge tufts of his black hair tightly to torture himself even more. Minhyuk hugs him from behind, stopping Hyunwoo from hurting himself even more, and the latter slumps in defeat.

 

 

"I haven't slept in three days, Min. Something is definitely wrong with me." Hyunwoo chokes back a sob, feeling small under Minhyuk's hold. That's when Minhyuk realizes that the both of them forgot to go to the doctor for the checkup he promised to Hyunwoo, and he blames himself for whatever's happening to Hyunwoo.

 

 

He holds Hyunwoo tighter, hiding the brimming tears on his eyes by leaning his cheek against Hyunwoo's broad back. Minhyuk shuts his lips tight, wondering they'll ever be okay again after they finally go to the doctor once he schedules an appointment. But again, he'll try to understand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _Early-onset Alzheimer's disease._ What else did Minhyuk expect from all the symptoms that had shown itself in the past few months? Hyunwoo is grief-stricken, tightly holding Minhyuk's hand to make sure he's still there beside him when the doctor tells them the news, and Minhyuk holds back just as tight to assure him he's _always_ going to be there.

 

 

"I can- I can just hire a nurse to help me get through my everyday life. You- I don't want to burden you anymore, Min." Hyunwoo's stoic expression is the opposite of how his lips tremble when he suggests this to Minhyuk, and it takes all of Minhyuk's self-restraint not to slap Hyunwoo on the cheek for thinking that way.

 

 

"I'm about to slap you, Hyunwoo. But I won't because I love you. How dare you think I'll leave you after this? This is nothing, okay. I'll still be here even when you don't remember me anymore. That's my promise to you." Minhyuk isn't sure if he'll ever be ready when that day comes as Hyunwoo slowly forgets the names of people coming by their apartment, and it hurts him more to see his lover breaking down after and blaming himself for whatever's happeining to him. But if there's one thing he's sure of, it's that his love for Hyunwoo would be able to surpass everything that's happened, everything that's happening, and everything that is about to happen in the future. He prepares himself to understand. His love for Hyunwoo would let him understand everything.

 

 

Months after, just as the cold breeze turns into sounds of chirping birds and snow slowly melting from the tree beside the windowpane of their small bedroom, Minhyuk wakes up to no Hyunwoo beside him. He quickly snaps his eyes open, scanning the room for any signs of Hyunwoo, but his heart eventually beats back to its normal pace when he hears Hyunwoo singing from the kitchen outside, probably cooking breakfast for the both of them like in the past.

 

 

He greets Hyunwoo with a big smile on his face, hugging his big bear from behind. "What are you making?"

 

 

"Pancakes." Hyunwoo scoops a small amount of raw dough using his finger and hurriedly wipes it onto Minhyuk's cheek, laughing when the smaller boy groans in frustration.

 

 

"An old man with a mindset of a child. How cute." He says, kissing Hyunwoo on the cheek instead of retaliating back at him. He'll surely miss these moments once- once his most dreaded thing happens. But for now, he basks in this happy memory he'll surely engrave at the back of his mind, a small reminder to himself in the future that Hyunwoo will always, _always_ be worth it.

 

 

They eat in silence after, opting to sit and rest their backs against the kitchen counter beside each other as they eat the slightly burnt pancakes Hyunwoo made. Minhyuk leans his head on Hyunwoo's shoulder when they're both done for breakfast, closing his eyes.

 

 

"I love you so much, my Hyunwoo." His voice is so soothing that Hyunwoo tries his best to keep it in his memories because it's a memory he'd never want to forget. Minhyuk's voice, his chestnut eyes, his blond locks of hair, his long and rough hands, his lipsㅡhe wants to keep it in memory for as long as he can, so he stares at Minhyuk after they get up from their position, holding his lanky boyfriend by the waist. It feels as if eternity passes by as Minhyuk stares back up at him with all the longing in his eyes, and even if the end is inevitable, he can't help but wish it wouldn't come soon.

 

 

"I love you so much, my Minhyuk." He cups Minhyuk's cheek, kissing him lightly on the lips before pressing their foreheads together. "My Minhyuk, my beautiful, sweet Minhyuk. The man I'll love until my last breath. My Minhyuk, who's shown me the best things in life, who made me who I am today. I love you, Lee Minhyuk, because you're _my_ Minhyuk who brought out the best in me. I love you so much, Minhyuk. So damn much that it hurts to even hold you right now knowing I'd just hurt you someday."

 

 

Minhyuk presses his lips together, smiling before he bumps his forehead against Hyunwoo's. "My stupid big bear." He laughs. "Through your ups and downs, I will be here. It's my promise to you years ago when I said yes, and it's a promise I'd like to keep until the end. I love you, my Hyunwoo. I love you so damn much as well. And I'll love you always, always always always always-"

 

 

Hyunwoo cuts him off with a deep kiss, a kiss that felt like an exchange of loneliness and longing between them. It might be the first of their lasts, so Hyunwoo makes sure it's worth every second that they lose their breaths. Minhyuk takes every moment into detail and Hyunwoo takes his time in relishing over the feeling of remembering Minhyuk and what he does to him, _what he makes him feel._

 

 

Minhyuk understands. And after that morning, he's sure he always will.

 

 

Eighteen hours later, Minhyuk groans on the floor of their bedroom after Hyunwoo unconsciouly kicked him off their bed when he opens his eyes next to someone unfamiliar.

 

 

"Who are you?" Hyunwoo whispers so softly in the midst of the dark confines of their room. It's a whisper, but it comes to Minhyuk as a loud, resonating scream that tugs the strings of his heart ever-so-painfully. He slowly makes his way towards his lover.

 

 

Minhyuk takes Hyunwoo's hand between his own cold and trembling hands, kissing Hyunwoo's knuckles and smiling against his warm skinㅡa warmth he'll surely miss after the sun rises.

 

 

_The time has finally come._

 

 

"I am Lee Minhyuk. You are Son Hyunwoo. You are my boyfriend, and I love you so much even if you push me away after this. Got it?"

 

 

And yes, Minhyuk understands. He definitely, surely, _really_ does. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is some sort of closure fic before I, AO3 user showhyuks, officially bid my farewells to everyone. I wanted to leave something before I take my long writing hiatus, and because I have failed to finish my fourth bingo fic in time (and I probably would not finish it at this rate lol), I decided to make this out of scratch because this idea struck me while I was making coffee earlier.   
> (Me: *while making coffee*  
> okay what if hyunwoo slowly shows the signs of alzheimer's at his very young age and he's afraid minhyuk would leave, but he doesn't?  
> *hours later*  
> *searches symptoms of alzheimer's disease*)
> 
>    
> I'd like to thank everyone who supported my writing endeavors for the past nine months!  
>  **To** AO3 users Hyungwons and Everydayishark, you guys know how much I love you, right?  
>  **To** AO3 user yawoozyalose, I miss you already. Come back to writing (please) and let's talk about prompts again once we both get off our busy schedules, okay?! You still owe me that Hyungwonho band!au and smut ShowHeon fic!  
>  **To** all the readers who commented and left kudos to all of my works, you guys are one of the reasons why I exist and why I write. I love you all so much.  
>  **To** my bestfriend (who doesn't have an AO3 account lol), I love you so much even if you won't ever see this. Thank you for being my anchor.  
>  **To** all the ShowHyuk writers out there, keep on writing and keep on spreading the ShowHyuk love! When I come back from my writing hiatus, I want to see more than 200 fics under our tag by then! I love you all sosososo much!!  
>  (I'd like to express my thanks as well to all the authors who somehow contributed to our shipdom's tag here in AO3, whether showhyuk were the side couple or the bestfriends on the side, etc etc.)  
> We started off the year with only two ShowHyuk fics, but now we have over 100 beautiful stories. (Which are all worth the read, I tell you. And yes, I have read them all. Lmao)
> 
>  
> 
> That is all. This is a short farewell message because I know I'm coming back. It won't be too soon, though, but I'll be back someday when I'm ready to write again- probably when the spark in my heart and the rhythm in my fingers are back, and when the stories and prompts flood my thoughts again like the old days.
> 
>  
> 
> This is again, not a goodbye, but a mere farewell. High ho, shippers! See you around!  
> (You can always hit me up on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/alwayshowhyuk)! I'm always a mention or DM away.)


End file.
